Love First: Ending Hate Before It's Too Late By Don McLaughlin
Wineskins Contributor・10/11/19
https://youtu.be/K_ApWkxsSxw
“Perfect love casts out fear.”
We learn early that some people seem to get the idea of lovebetter than others. I’m not suggesting that I have met anyone who is perfectat loving God, themselves, or others, but it does seem some are very committedto perfecting the way they love. They seem to know that loving otherswell is essential to the good life—good for them and others. Good love becomesincreasingly important to us as we refine our understanding of love. Bad lovecan make us leery and weary of relationships, but it will not quench our hungerfor good love. I can’t count the people I’ve heard “give up on love” only toyearn for love again. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but we are at leastlooking for love that is in the process of perfecting. We want love that isintentionally getting better.
But how does perfect love take shape? How is ourcapacity to love first perfected? Are there some conditions that signalwhen God’s love is being perfected—coming to maturity—in us? Thankfully theBible gives us just such a description. And, although we should examine theentirety of Scripture to breathe in the fullness of God’s love, the ApostlePaul gives us the Cliffs Notes in his first letter to the Christians inCorinth. After reminding us that authentic love is a non-negotiable, Pauloutlines the essential characteristics of godly love. He starts and ends withwhat true love must be, and in the middle, he clarifies what must go! Forexample, love is patient, kind and never gives up, but it is not rude,self-seeking, or easily angered.
I wrote the book Love First: Ending Hate Before It’s Too Late because I realized the world is still hungry for the real thing. Bad love is literally everywhere—like a virus that is killing us. But we keep fighting. We keep hoping. We keep trying. We don’t want to give in to hate. Even when our hearts are broken and our spirits are crushed, we can’t stand the thought of hate winning. We won’t let go of the belief that good love is still possible, so what does this love look like?
In the Bible, the love we are looking for is called lovefirst. The Apostle of Love writes in one of his letters:
“God is love. We know and rely onhis love for us. Perfect love casts out fear. We love because He first lovedus.” (Selected readings from 1st John 4:7-19)
God is love. Love begins with God. God leads with love. Loveis who God is and what God does… first. The most famous passage from the Bibleis John 3:16, which begins, “For God so loved the world that he gave his oneand only Son…” One doesn’t have to know much to be touched by the ethos andpathos in these fourteen syllables, but what is the logos—the word—behind them?We begin by noting that God’s love is climactically demonstrated in the givingof his son, but scripture testifies that “Jesus is the lamb slain before thecreation of the world.” In him we were chosen before creation. He shared lifeand glory before creation. Are you catching this? If God gave his son beforethe creation of the world as an ultimate demonstration of his love, then Godloved us before he created us, commissioned us, commanded us, and called usinto account for breaking his commands. God loves humanity before he doesanything else. This is God’s preemptive love.
But love first is also responsive. Jesus models thislove for us as he steps into broken lives and offers them forgiveness, healingand hope. Jesus is willing to engage everyone. He converses with a Pharisee inthe dead of night and challenges another in the light of day. Jesus stands withmoral train wrecks. He openly abandons a socially acceptable reputation. Hemakes no effort to downplay his association with insiders and outcasts, thepowerful and the marginal, those who will literally kill him and those who knowthey can’t live a day without him. Samaritans are heroes in his stories, butreligious leaders who come to Jesus are received with an open heart and openarms. Jesus preemptively and responsively loves everyone.
I believe Jesus is calling us individually and as his church to live like him—like his body. But, offering love first—in every situation—is counterintuitive. We are taught that true love is always reciprocal, but this only accounts for responsive love. Jesus’s love is also preemptive, and it is this expression of love that opens doors when no one is knocking and offers forgiveness when no one is repenting. Loving first means hoping for something that is not yet seen and trusting that love has the power to initiate change. God models this love for us. God loved the world prior to creation. Loving first means loving others preemptively—before they do anything to “earn,” our love, but it also means loving others responsively even after they have done something that tests our love. We love because he first loved us.
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