The Power of No
Patrick Mead・11/11/19
Fasting is a fascinatingsubject. When I bring it up in conversation or in a lesson, some have a kneejerk reaction and quickly say “there are no commands in the New Testament forus to fast!” I get it. That’s what I was taught, too. I agree that there is noexplicit command and I truly believe we are not to bind upon others (orourselves) anything other than that which God has bound. That said, it isinteresting that Jesus said, “when you fast” (Matthew 6:16-18) and the earlychurch fasted before making decisions or commissioning Christians for specificwork.
When I ask people what itmeans to fast, they almost always say “To not eat for a period of time” andthey are correct, but only in part. You can fast from food for a day or longer,or you can fast from a particular food as many do during Lent. You can fastfrom an activity, again, as some of my friends do when they withdraw fromsocial media or TV and movies during Lent. There are severe fasts where youneither eat nor drink during the daylight hours, as my Muslim friends do duringRamadan. I have sat with them as the evening sun is setting and they arefinally allowed to eat and drink. It is a remarkable experience.
Isaiah 58 makes it very plainthat fasting is not about us. It is not about trying to force God’s hand orprove our righteousness. Rather, fasting is about handing over our lives to Godand allowing Him to live through us and that all starts with a lovely littleword: no.
“No” is a spiritual word andit is a complete sentence. (My thanks to John Laster, my executive minister whotaught me this when I was serving in Rochester, Michigan) You are allowed touse that word and, in fact, you must. It is important to learn how to use thatword to protect yourself from the demands and noises of this world. It is alsoimportant to learn how to use that word to police your own behavior. We’ve allmet people who have never been told “no.” I knew kids in high school that gotwhatever they wanted – including cars, clothes, gear – whenever they wanted it.Their parents just couldn’t say no and, thereby, they ruined their children’slives and their children’s sense of entitlement and lack of boundaries ruinedthe lives of others. We see millionaire sports stars spend their money on blingand sabotage their lives with risky behavior because no one tells them no. Wesee entitled politicians and bureaucrats who assume the rules do not apply tothem for who will tell them no?
I believe that fasting isgiven to us as a gift from God so that we can learn the power of the word “no.”Think about it for a moment: we were designed to need food. And, look! There isfood available for us! We are blessed to live in a land of abundance full ofplaces that will even provide us with a dollar menu (because fat is cheap). So,to review, we were designed to need food, and there is food available to us.Add to that the fact that food is a gift from God (1st Timothy 4:3)and you can make a good case for sitting down and enjoying your meal. But…thinkabout this…
You are hungry. You have foodavailable. And then you say no to yourself and yes to whatever God needs you todo for Him (Isaiah 58 again). You learn the power to say no to yourself. Youmake a decision to lay aside your rights and your needs for a time. The worldmay be calling you to join them in a meal or to take part in an activity, butyou have the power to say no. You’ve learned how by fasting (in whatever form)regularly. It can change your life. It did mine.
I was raised in a strict,pain filled home. I was taught to judge and hate anyone who was not like us orin full agreement with us (we didn’t use the word “hate” but that was what wefelt and projected). From my middle school years, I debated my peers and thoseolder than I. I lived for that and, in my eyes, never lost a debate. I almostnever won over my opponent but that, to me, was beside the point. I made thesuperior argument. In my opinion, if they did not acquiesce, it was due totheir moral deficiency or intellectual cowardice. My arrogance was onlyexceeded by my failure to love. Early in my marriage, my attitude and my “takeno prisoners” attitude began to hurt my relationship with my wife. It tookyears for me to understand what I was doing and how it affected others. Once I “gotit” I had to find a way to modify my behavior and I am here to tell you it wasnot easy.
I decided I could no longerbe a predator, but I knew I would need a constant reminder of my decision. Icarried a small metal cross in my pocket so that, every time I put my hand inmy pocket to retrieve keys or change, I would remember that the people aroundme at that moment were beloved by God and it would be wise for me to treat Hiskids with kindness, especially since I believed I had an appointment to face Himone day. I knew I needed to go further so I made two more changes that seemedextreme at the time. First, I vowed to say nothing negative about any personfor the next six months. That was brutal. I still had to drive and negotiate myway through the day to day world but, now, I couldn’t complain about thetraffic or how I was treated at the repair shop… Wow. That was harder than Ithought, but it taught me to say “no” to my instincts and training.
Adding to the cross in mypocket and the vow to speak no negative words about others, I added one morereminder: I stopped eating meat. I loved meat. My family still ate meat and Istill bought it for them. I was not opposed to eating meat or even to hunting.I stopped eating meat to remind myself I was not a predator anymore and, bythat, I meant that I was not to prey on humans with my words and attitude. Iremained a vegetarian for more than 10 years. After our children left home, mywife sat me down and said I had changed my life and personality long ago andthat I should allow myself to eat meat again. Besides, she said, with only twoof us in the home, it was difficult to make a meal we could share if Icontinued being vegetarian. I started eating meat that day.
Learning how to say no tomyself was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And I still have to fastfrom time to time to remind myself of my need to hear that word. I also have toconstantly remind myself of the other side of the fasting coin: saying no tomyself and saying yes to whatever God needs from me at that moment. I am not atall the man I want to be, but I am far from the man I was and fasting played abig part in that journey. I am sure it will play a big – and necessary – partin the rest of my journey. So, I do not fast because I believe I was commandedto fast. I fast because I need to fast.
Patrick Mead