Tagged: Single and Lonely
December 3, 2018 at 8:46 pm #24231Jim MillerModerator
One is the Loneliest Number…
Posted on November 25, 2018 by xybatt
Humans are by nature social animals. When isolated the alarm bells go off as they would for hunger, physical pain or thirst. An isolated place is the breeding grounds for negative thinking to take effect. Thought processes become literal in our minds as we beat ourselves up, only to remain isolated.
Our inner thoughts become our worst enemy. Constantly putting one’s self down and creating monsters in our head. Our inner thoughts must be treated as though they are external and must be dealt with.
It is inconceivable and extremely difficult to relay feelings and pain to others. So, the vicious cycle of negative self-images can paralyze. The intrusive thoughts must be dealt with as I stated above. To me “quick fix” advice is nonsensical. Just read your bible someone may say. I think that is great advice but in reality, the intrusive thoughts are just too much for reading the bible for some people.
Spirituality can sometimes complicate your inner voices. There are far too many legalistic, right-wing nuts who want to control you and your thoughts. And if you don’t take heed to their advice the inner thoughts can really make you feel bad as a person. On the other hand, there are many good-willed Christians who have a great deal of balance and to me, that is a huge gift to have.
I believe the first step is to not criticize yourself and tell yourself it is okay if you are lonely and to tell yourself you’re not a bad person. Because loneliness has underlying problems and beginnings such as heredity, divorce, loss of loved ones, abuse, abandonment by friends, etc..
Where I live I see so much loneliness and it breaks my heart. So many people with fascinating pasts but are alone now. Loss of family members, abandonment by family and friends. I often times call them the “invisible people” or the “throwaways of society” in some instances. Let’s just hurry up and throw them in the “somewhat functional nursing home.”
It really is one of the saddest things I’ve ever witnessed.
I think after decades of loneliness it just becomes a way of life for some. It sucks, but it is a part of life and life is a struggle for all of us. I think the best things you can do is to help yourself and others around you.
It is an unfortunate way of life because you miss out on so much of life. Vacations, girlfriends/boyfriends, not sharing your talents. I believe loneliness strikes us all at different points. However, if you don’t have chronic loneliness. Consider yourself blessed.
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